“According to a Mayan prophecy, Seth Troxler was indeed a gift to the techno world from intergalactic demigods from the distant future. Rumors that Seth Troxler is actually an alien are untrue; in the early first century, these demigods kidnapped the first male child of a Roman centurion and his Egyptian trophy wife. After years of traveling the western suburbs of the Milky Way studying linear algebra, Byronicism, urban planning, and the fundamentals of electronic music composition, these demigods lost young Seth to the Elder God Horus in a game of transdimensional Backgammon. Before Horus could consume his soul, disguised as Freemasons, they managed to steal young Seth back and, fearing Horus’s wrath, hid him in the Old West town of Kalamazoo, where he was raised by a kindly Amish family.